(And I’m not even touching the land-meat aspect of my decision.)
There are a few things going on here..
I gave into a craving on the diner menu, but I didn’t give my body what it really needed. I really needed some nutrients. If I wanted to eat red meat because that’s what my body wanted, then I should have gotten the filet.. It’s definitely leaner. I’ll bet that burger was 80/20, which means 20% fat.. and the filet came with vegetables, not fries.
This is embarrassing to admit – hell, a lot of stuff is embarrassing to admit – but I actually made a conscious decision to get this crap because it was cheaper. But what are the long-term effects on my health? Sure, I can save $9 today, but will I have to pay for a $50,000 operation later in life?
I had a long day at work and decided to take it out on my arteries. My legs are a little sore from the running I did at the gym Wednesday night – this is in direct opposition to last night’s meal. Why am I doing this to myself?
I haven’t officially weighed-in in forever because I am fluctuating the same 4 pounds over and over again and… it’s embarrassing because I’m not asserting the control I should. I have the ability to do this – I’ve proven this to myself. But the fact is, especially evident from my action last night, that I am making excuses and sabotaging myself.
The only question is, why? I want to succeed. I want to move forward in my life and continue to improve my health. I’m working on some tools to help me in situations where I’m more vulnerable to making un-wise decisions.
I’ve already forgiven myself for my poor decision(s), but forgiving and forgetting are two different things.. and how I felt last night, and this morning, is something I really need to remember.