I had a moment in class today where I thought to myself, “I’d really like to hear Adele’s Rolling in the Deep” – we were working heavy and I just craved those vocals and the beat. And I kid you not, two seconds later, a remix upbeat version of Rolling in the Deep started playing. That made me feel good. Having intuition like that is super motivating.
Class was hard. It usually is, and I like it that way. When it’s crazy heavy, and I have my eyes squeezed shut for fear they might pop out of my damn skull, I try to visualize myself riding toward the numbers I want to see on the scale. I weigh all week long, but reserve special gravity for my post-spin weigh-in. The idea is that while I do eat a light breakfast to fuel the class, I’ve just squeezed every bit of water out of myself by way of sweat. I feel like it’s a really good indicator of my true body weight.
So, when I get on the scale this morning and see that I’m only down .4 from last week. And then I get further down on myself. This week I felt like I worked really hard. I went to spin on Tuesday morning and was back to the gym again for strength training Tuesday night. Thursday night I was there for cardio, where I tried some new machines. It can be quite frustrating.
But then I remember the mixed messages I send my body. Like, for example, the very large and very delicious sirloin burger I had in Asbury Park last Saturday night, washed down with a thick-as-fuck coffee stout. I’ll acknowledge myself for not eating all the sweet potato fries, but later, after walking around a bit, I did cap off my night with two double bourbons.
So, what/who am I frustrated with? Is it my body’s fault that I loaded up the way that I did on Saturday and then spent the rest of the week evening out? Not exactly. See, I can have a burger – it was delicious and I had been craving one for some time – but I can’t have beer with it. I should have just settled for water with a bit of lemon; I’ll wager that my outcome today would have been a hell of a lot different if I had. I can *occassionally* get a beer, but it’s got to be light, and only if I’m having a lean, small meal. I cannot pile all of these mixed messages on this body and expect it to do what I want on demand.
Okay, self-beat down session is officially over for the day. On a positive note, I did a bunch of strength training this week – hopefully some of the weight is in relation to building muscle – but either way, I’m having some great progress with the bum shoulder. This excites me as I have been working on my building strength to acheive the goal of being able to do pull ups (never been able to in my life) as well as a desire to try on one of those rock climbing walls at some point this year.
The last working song of today’s spin class was Florence + the Machine’s Dog Days are Over – a track I’ve had on one of my gymtime play lists for a while. It resonated with me. The dog days are over, the work, however is not.
I have 40 pounds left to lose before I hit that number. In this department I’m still rolling in the deep, but I’m halfway there.
Are you a glass half-empty or a glass half-full kind of person?